Her Ex

So we are getting ready to get married soon, yes that's right soon. On top of that I have to keep dealing with her Ex. We have been together for like 7 months and so he can't let us be happy, can't let her go. Her and I almost ended and she gave him some new hope that was dashed when we stayed together. Still I have to deal with this, he told her on valentines day in a card about his undying love for her. I'm sorry that is completely inappropriate he, he has zero respect for our relationship, none at all. Except I have to deal with this and it's okay cuz he's perfect and doing nothing wrong in her eyes but i speak up about it and i'm the bad guy. Well I hope that I get the respect that I deserve after we're married. Right now I feel like when he comes over to see Drayke that I don't belong here and I should leave so no one feels uncomfortable. I'm not even allowed to show her any love or emotion in front of him. I'm left out at times, I just hope it changes soon. I have decided to add to this post a little bit. Back story would be that the other day we had a moment together so that she suddenly saw the GREAT in us. So now we are better than ever, we at her request even moved the wedding up. that's how serious she has become about us. I am positive that we are going to make it now, no matter what we are soo strong and stronger than more relationships after decades of being together. I am sure however that if anything could come between us it would be the way we each feel about her Ex. So I hope that I can move past him. And accept the way that she feels towards him. If not then I will miss this... I believe that I can only because I love her that much with my everything but I will understand if we arent meant to be unlike him. She wrote him a message on facebook telling him that she didnt want to be with him anymore, and he wrote back saying that he could work just as hard as i have and he would love to continue down this path with her but oh he understands and hopes she's happy, what a load of crap, boo hoo. I don't buy it, i just see him as still trying to nudge in but slightly realizing that he can't. She said oh but i ripped his heart out, well it didn't sound like it in his message, sounded like his last ditch effort to win before quiting. I doubt I'll ever truly let this all go, i may just go numb to its effects.... Well till next time.

Relationships are fun!

Well let's see, where to begin. I've been with Carli for just over 6 months. I thought we were doing really well, I guess I was wrong about everything. It seems she has been saying I'm doing everything wrong. I mean I love her and she loves me and I thought that we had our way worked out and everything. Yet again wrong. This all seems to of started after her and her ex became friends again. Suddenly I'm treating her horribly and I'm being nothing but rude to her, so she says. Well it doesn't quite add up for me that she would pick that time to express these feelings. Now I can tell you that I've been getting treated like crap for sure suddenly. It didn't use to be this way, like I said we were all loving and such. Well in her defense she says I started it all and she is just responding to my behavior towards her. Well unfortunately I'm being told by other people that she has been just as if not meaner to me too. Now after all of this can to a head I asked her if I could have one more chance to chance for the better. After much reluctant thought she has decided to give me that chance. I know I can change, although she keeps telling me she loves me but doesn't believe I can. So I'm in this on my own, but no worry I can do this. She once told me, "I don't believe that someone can suddenly do a 180 over night and stay that way." Well she is right, because I didn't used to be this way I changed into it. Which would mean it's time for me to change back to who I used to be, and not this person whom even I despise. I just need some help, so I have decided to seek professional help for mental issues. That way I can let go of some of the things that are bothering me. I just lost my mother a year ago so that has helped to change me to a bit of a different kind of person, also all of the horrible relationships I've been in have done their damage too. I just want to work through all of that, and become a little bit better, not so angry at the world. Although I get the feeling that I'm alone in the aspect of changing to become a better over all person. She has stated she is too old to change or help me change at all. Besides the part where she doesn't think I can even change in the first place. Also I've been told by her that she hates to say it but, the only reason I'm with her is she pays for everything and puts a roof over my head. Well I hate to say it, but I can go other places and I can deal with the money issues. The only reason I'm with her/still with her, is because I love her with all my heart and even after everything that has been said I still love her and still want nothing more that to marry her and make her my wife. I must say that even with the issues we are going through right now, I've never loved her any less, I only love her more and more everyday. Now I sit here ready to change anything and everything that I deem needs to be different, and believe me I have come up with a long list of things I don't like about me that I'm going to fix. Lets just hope that it's enough for us. Wish me luck. To my avid readers if there are any; don't worry I'll keep ya'll updated on this topic.