Relationships are fun!

Well let's see, where to begin. I've been with Carli for just over 6 months. I thought we were doing really well, I guess I was wrong about everything. It seems she has been saying I'm doing everything wrong. I mean I love her and she loves me and I thought that we had our way worked out and everything. Yet again wrong. This all seems to of started after her and her ex became friends again. Suddenly I'm treating her horribly and I'm being nothing but rude to her, so she says. Well it doesn't quite add up for me that she would pick that time to express these feelings. Now I can tell you that I've been getting treated like crap for sure suddenly. It didn't use to be this way, like I said we were all loving and such. Well in her defense she says I started it all and she is just responding to my behavior towards her. Well unfortunately I'm being told by other people that she has been just as if not meaner to me too. Now after all of this can to a head I asked her if I could have one more chance to chance for the better. After much reluctant thought she has decided to give me that chance. I know I can change, although she keeps telling me she loves me but doesn't believe I can. So I'm in this on my own, but no worry I can do this. She once told me, "I don't believe that someone can suddenly do a 180 over night and stay that way." Well she is right, because I didn't used to be this way I changed into it. Which would mean it's time for me to change back to who I used to be, and not this person whom even I despise. I just need some help, so I have decided to seek professional help for mental issues. That way I can let go of some of the things that are bothering me. I just lost my mother a year ago so that has helped to change me to a bit of a different kind of person, also all of the horrible relationships I've been in have done their damage too. I just want to work through all of that, and become a little bit better, not so angry at the world. Although I get the feeling that I'm alone in the aspect of changing to become a better over all person. She has stated she is too old to change or help me change at all. Besides the part where she doesn't think I can even change in the first place. Also I've been told by her that she hates to say it but, the only reason I'm with her is she pays for everything and puts a roof over my head. Well I hate to say it, but I can go other places and I can deal with the money issues. The only reason I'm with her/still with her, is because I love her with all my heart and even after everything that has been said I still love her and still want nothing more that to marry her and make her my wife. I must say that even with the issues we are going through right now, I've never loved her any less, I only love her more and more everyday. Now I sit here ready to change anything and everything that I deem needs to be different, and believe me I have come up with a long list of things I don't like about me that I'm going to fix. Lets just hope that it's enough for us. Wish me luck. To my avid readers if there are any; don't worry I'll keep ya'll updated on this topic.